Hermione Granger and the Talent show I II and III
by the girl who lost it
Summary: I just decided to post this cos part IV and V are coming up soon and it's been like a month since these have beem seen so it's just like a little reminder of the stupid f****** series.


HERMIONE GRANGER AND THE TALENT SHOW I

Hermione pushed her soggy scrambled eggs around. She wasn't hungry. She had the feeling that something was going to happen today, and it could go both ways. Hermione always and feelings like those. It was her kind of divination. Suddenly a hush filled the hall and Hermione looked up. Dumbledore was standing up and there was that ever-burning flame in his eyes. 

"Good morning, Hogwarts!"

"Good morning, Professor Dumbledore" The hall echoed

"I trust you remember the Triwizard Tournament last year." Cho Chang burst into tears at the Ravenclaw table, attracting some sorrowful glances as well as a few scornful ones, notably from the Slytherin table. Dumbledore bit his lip.

"Anyway, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang will be coming to Hogwarts again for a month in November to make the first inter-school talent show a success..."

Instantly the hall started buzzing, even Cho Chang managed to recompose herself and chat interestedly with her friends. Dumbledore waved an impatient hand.

"The contest will be held on the 26th of November. Unlike the Triwizard Tournament," Cho burst into tears again " everyone can participate. There can be individual performances or in-groups. The categories include singing, dancing, acting, quidditch performances and storytelling. Please sign up at Professor Flitwick's office." He sat down again and started talking to Hagrid who was wearing his exceptionally big moleskin coat. Again the hall started buzzing, the entire school seemed to be genuinely interested and Hermione could already see Ginny Weasley and Pandora Nickolson walk up to Professor Flitwick. Hermione sighed and started playing with her scrambled eggs again, finally giving up on them she pushed her plate away and walked over to where Harry and Ron were sitting, they too seemed to be in deep conversation. Harry turned around when he saw her coming.

"We're thinking of doing a quidditch performance with our team." He said. 

"Yeah, you and all the other boys in the school." Hermione sighed and sat down next to Ron.

"Wazzamatter?" Ron asked

" Nothing. It's just that well, everyone has a talent for doing something and I don't! What am I supposed to do? Act as a tree?

" You do have a talent!" Harry said, suddenly.

"What!" Hermione snapped at him.

"Singing! You sing really well!"

"That's not funny."

"I wasn't trying to be!"

"Since when have you heard me sing?"

"Since I heard you at Lavender's party this summer!"

"Oh come on! That was a kareoke!"

"Yeah, but still! You sang realy well!"

"Excuse me! I got kicked out of 4th grade choir because I couldn't sing!!!"

"Hermione! That was, what, 6 years ago!"

"Well... still! There are going to be about 1000 people watching me! This isn't some kind of stupid Kareoke party!"

"Oh come on Herm! Loosen up a bit! Who knows! You might lose your know it all reputation."

Hermione's mind started spinning, that was it! The way to get rid of the reputation she well and truly hated!

"That's it!" She whispered.

"What's it" Ron asked, chewing on a piece of toast.

"Nothing." She smiled to herself. She didn't have to kidnap Filch's cat after all. She wouldn't even have to break the rules! By Christmas... she could be popular!

"You know what Harry... I am going to sign up."

"Great! Come with us, we're going to sign our team up."

Pity, Hermione thought as she rose from the table towards Professor Flitwick, her plans for Mrs Norris had been so fulfilling.

A/N: Hope you like it! This is going to be a very intersting series....

Disclaimer: I OWN NADA! ABSOLUTELY ZIP! ZERO!!!

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HERMIONE GRANGER AND THE TALENT SHOW Part II

"I don't know how I let you guys pull me into this." Hermione moaned as she threw another CD over her shoulder "What the hell am I supposed to sing? Mary had a little lamb?"

"Huh?" Ron asked, completely stumped.

"Never mind." Hermione sighed.

"Come on Hermione! There are TONS of songs you can sing!" Harry said encouragingly. 

"Oh yeah? Like what?" Hermione snapped

"I dunno. 'Lucky' by Britney Spears, 'I turn to you' by Christina Aguilera, the list goes on forever!"

"That's why you only mentioned two."

"Yeah. Well."

"Harry, are you going to do the Wronski Feint or not?" Ron asked as he noted down the positions of the Quidditch players on a piece of parchment.

"Yeah. But look, Hermione, it's easier than writing your own song!"

"I know THAT. But look, in the muggle world there are a LOT of songs. If it comes to that I might have to sing "The real Hermione Granger"!"

"Who'd want to be Hermione Granger?" Ron muttered.

"I HEARD THAT!" Hermione yelled, throwing a CD cover at Ron's head knocking him unconscious and causing him to fall off his chair.

" Hermione. Grow up! You're sixteen and you're still..."

"Wait a sec! Rewind what you just said..." 

"Erm... Grow up...erm...you're sixteen..erm..." Harry stared at Hermione like she was insane.

"THANK YOU!!!" Hermione squealed, she ran up to harry and flung her arms around his neck before literally flying out the common room, leaving Harry completely bewildered and Ron trying to get up, bash his head against the table and fall unconscious, once again, on the cold wooden floor

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Hermione ran up the stairs to the girls' dormitories and ran to her bedside table, yanked out the CD player she had bought in Diagon Alley that summer.

"Here it is!" She pushed a CD into the CD player and listened. The song was perfect.

She grinned at her own ingenuity and was ready to leave the room when she was knocked over by a sudden blast of music coming from somewhere in the tower. She raced down the stairs and screamed over the music.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???" She looked at Harry.

"WHAT?" 

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? She repeated.

"WHAT????" 

"I SAID, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???"

Suddenly the music stopped and Hermione turned around to see Ginny Weasley, Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil. Bowing to a loud applause. 

"I should have known." Hermione sighed.

Ginny ran up to her.

"Did you see our dance?" Ginny squeaked.

"Yes. It was very good." Hermione said flatly.

"Harry told me you were going to sing something! What are you going to sing?" Ginny was literally bouncing up and down now, and Hermione was strongly reminded of Colin and Dennis Creevey

"It's a surprise." Hermione smiled.

"Oh come on! Please tell me! I won't tell anyone."

"I can't. Sorry Ginny. I really want it to be a surprise." Ginny's face fell.

"Oh. OK then." Ginny walked away looking very disappointed. Hermione sighed. Normally she never kept secrets from Ginny. But she really wanted to keep this a surprise.

Suddenly, McGonagall's voice rang out throughout the tower.

'All students are to report to the Entrance hall at once to welcome the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students. You are to make sure you are clean and your clothes are neat. Anyone who does otherwise shall not be attending the Welcoming feast."

Hermione walked over to Harry, who was helping Ron up. He had been knocked unconscious by the sudden blast of music, so now he had three lumps on his head.

"We better get going." Harry said, checking the clock next to the fireplace.

Hermione nodded and led the way out of the common room. 

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Hermione shivered in her jacket. It was freezing outside and Ron had had to go to the Hospital wing, because he had been knocked over by a flying owl, knocking him unconscious for the fourth time in less than an hour. There was an exited murmur spreading around the crowd, Harry nudged her.

"Look at the forest." He whispered.

Hermion's jaw dropped. It was the same kind of transport Beauxbatons had used to come to the Tri-wizard tounament, only there were ten horses pulling a carrage almost 15 times bigger than the once they had used two years ago. Madame axime was the first to step out of the carriage, a tall girl, with long black hair, which cane up to her knees came second, and Hermione heard Ginny squeak beside her.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Hermione! That's Celestina Warbeck! She's the most famous singer in the magical world!!!!

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To be continued...

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A/N: I hope you liked it! In the next episode, Hermione meets Celestina Warbeck. Disclaimer: I don't own anything. End of story.

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HERMIONE GRANGER AND THE TALENT SHOW, Part III

By the girl who lost it!

Hermione gasped. So did a couple of people around her. A few girls were squealing in amazement. Suddenly Pansy Parkinson, who was right behind Hermione, screamed:

" WE LOVE YOU CELESTINA!" She started waving her arms around. Celestina Warbeck stopped and turned to look at Pansy. And she wrinkled her nose in disgust. Everyone started laughing, in exemption of Pansy, who was redder than Ron's hair. Ginny was laughing so hard she was clutching her stomach. Celestina saw Harry and her jaw dropped, but she kept walking. Hermione turned to look at Harry and saw that he was nervously trying to flatten his fringe against his forehead. Hermione sighed. The rest of the Beauxbatons students followed Madame Maxime and Celestina out of the carriage and stood in a line next to them, some were trying to warm up, and others were talking excitedly, and a pair of girls were screaming at each other.

Celestina, on the other hand was looking from Harry to Hermione. She seemed to be absorbed in thought. Hermione instinctively pulled on Harry's sleeve

"Don't look now, but it looks like Celestina Warbeck is extremely interested in you." She gave him a cheeky grin and turned her head to the lake, where the Durmstrang ship was rising. 

"Hermione!" someone hissed. Hermione looked around her, but, seeing no one, turned back to see a stout looking man walk down the path towards the school.

"Hermione!" This time Hermione saw Gabrielle Delacour, Fleur Delacour's sister, right behind Ginny. Hermione had met her when they were both kidnapped for the second task.

"Hi Gabrielle" She whispered.

"Celestina wants to talk to you!" Gabrielle said, hurriedly.

"What about?" 

"I don't know, she just said to meet her in the entrance hall after dinner..."

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Hermione wiped her mouth with her napkin and took one long gulp of pumpkin juice. Beside her Ginny was squirming in her seat. Harry was sitting right next to her and Hermione could tell that she was very nervous. She sighed and saw Dumbledore stand up at the High table. A deafening silence fell across the hall immediately. Hermione guessed that the impact that Dumbledore had had on Beauxbatons and Durmstrang two years before was as strong as ever.

"Welcome fellow students and guests, to the first ever inter-school talent show! The actual show will be in 3 weeks time, but while we're waiting, there is a slight change that has to be announced." Hermione and Harry exchanged a glance. "The categories, as I' am sure you know are: Singing, Quidditch performances, Dancing and story telling. Madame Maxime, Professor Hemastar and myself have agreed that there shall be only three groups or people who will be chosen for each category, one from each school. I'm sorry if this causes any inconvenience to anybody, but we have decided that it is for the best. The selected people or groups will be missing three lessons a week until the performance to rehearse. The try-outs are going to be on Monday. Thank you."

Hermione let out a disappointed sigh. There was no way she was going to win the tryouts. Joanna Kingston was trying out, and she was the lead singer for 'The muggles', the most popular band in Hogwarts. Next to her, Ginny let out a small squeak.

"Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! We're never going to get the part! Not when Jon's dancers are trying out!" 'Jon's dancers' were the school dancers. They were known for their agility and excellent choreographs. Ron, who had got out of the Hospital wing with a huge bandage around the head, was going on and on about how they were SO going to get the part. At the end, George slapped his brother around the head and told him to shut up. Harry leaned over the table and tapped Hermione, who was calming a hysterical Ginny Weasley, on the shoulder.

"Are you going to try out?" He asked. 

Hermione sighed.

"I don't know. There's going to be a lot of competition."

"I think you should. You could get the part."

"Not when Joanna Kingston is around!" Hermione cried.

"Hermione. Joanna Kingston sucks!" Lee Jordan said, butting into the conversation.

Hermione laughed as Justin Flinch-Fletchely shot Lee a poisonous look. Joanna had been his girl friend since May last year, but Hermione had the impression that Joanna only dated him out of pity.

"So are you?" Harry asked again, as Lee Jordan helped himself to the lamb chop on Harry's plate.

"Yeah. What have I got to lose?" Hermione said. But a little voice at the back of her head answered her half-stated question.

__

Everything.

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Hermione leaned against the wall_. I suppose with a social life like Celestina's you have to keep_ _others waiting_ she thought bitterly. _She was supposed to meet me 10 minutes ago. _Hermione sighed and started walking up the marble staircase.

"Hermione! That's your name isn't it?" Hermione froze and turned around. Celestina was standing in the middle of the Entrance hall, pulling her long black hair into a messy bun.

"Yeah, that's me. What is it?"

"You are friends with Harry Potter?"

"Yeah, for 6 years. Why?"

"I was just wondering if you could, you know, set me up with him?"

Hermione's stomach sank. Truth was, she had a crush on Harry herself, and she knew that if Celestina Warbeck was going to go out with him, Hermione wouldn't stand a chance.

"Yeah." She heard herself say. "I'll try." Celestina grinned

"Thank you so much...erm... Hermione!" She started walking back towards the Great hall, but she turned around and looked at Hermione. Is there anything I can do for you?" 

Hermione was about to say no when a thought popped up in her mind.

"Well... there is... but I'm not sure if you can help me with it. I might be trying out for the singing section for the talent show.. I was just wondering if you could, like, give me some tips?"

Celestina smiled.

"Be yourself. And picture yourself in a position in which you would sing your song. Practice. You can't lose with those three skills, it's almost impossible." She turned back towards the Great hall and disappeared into the noise. Hermione stood confused, how would those three tips help her? Apart from the practice bit, she had no idea what Celestina Warbeck was on about.

Hermione sighed and walked towards the Gryffindor tower, said goodnight to Ginny and fell asleep.

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Monday came and the entire school was a wreck. Girls were dropping their bags in the corridor and breaking into a dance for no good reason, and Fred and George were walking around with earplugs in their ears. Finally, the people who were trying out separated into twelve sections, Hogwarts, Durmstrang and Beauxbatons were auditioning separately, and in four different sections, the Hogwarts Quidditch performances were going to be judged by Madame Hooch, the storytelling by Professor Dumbledore, the dancing by Professor McGonagall and the singing by Professor Sinastra. Hermione waved goodbye to Harry and Ron and headed towards the Astronomy tower in the company of Jemima Hetherington, a Gryffindor girl she knew well. Jemima was constantly clearing her throat and breaking into a song. But Hermione kept a cool head. She wanted the part but decided to keep calm otherwise she figured that she wouldn't be so disappointed when she didn't get the part. Jemima and Hermione sat down and Professor Sinastra stood up and called out the names of the auditionees. Hannah Abbott was first and Professor Sinastra led her into a separate room, where they stayed for a few minutes before they re appeared, Hannah Abbott paler than Nearly Headless Nick. The list went on, until Hermione heard Professor Sinastra call out:

"Granger, Hermione"

Hermione gulped and followed the Astronomy teacher into a room. There was a small stage and a chair on the floor. Hermione climbed onto the stage and Professor Sinastra sat down in the chair. Hermione closed her eyes and remembered Celestina's three tips. "Br yourself. And picture yourself in a position in which you would sing your song. Practice." Hermione had practised. Every minute of her free time she had practised. All she had to do now was follow the other two tips. She relaxed and sang her song...

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On Tuesday, the entire school was buzzing. Professor Dumbledore had said that morning at Breakfast that he would be announcing the selected competants that evening at dinner. Hermione, for the first time in her life, found that she couldn't concentrate and was yelled at by many teachers that day, leaving Ron in a state of hysterics. Finally dinner arrived. Nobody could eat anything; they were all waiting for Dumbledore's announcement. The Great hall went quiet once again as Dumbledore stood up.

"Here are the selections for the Beauxbatons students.

For story telling, Bertrand Florant will be reading his story.

For Quidditch performances Guinevere Gril's team will be performing.

For dancing Vanessa Mulheim will be performing.

And for singing, Celestina Warbeck will be performing."

There were shouts of congratulations and many tears but Dumbledore continued his speech.

"Here are the selections for the Durmstrang students.

For story telling, Jeneth Hoch will be performing.

For Quidditch performances, Henem Jackson's team will be performing

For dancing Sylvia Flemack and Gretchen Heal will be performing 

And for singing, Gweneth Genstrow will be performing."

Again, everybody was either congratulating or crying and Hermione wished they would shut up so Dumbledore could get on with his speech, and so he did.

"And finally, here are the Hogwarts selections.

For story telling, Cho Chang will be performing.

For Quidditch performances, the Ravenclaw team will be performing,

For dancing, Jon's dancers will be performing 

And for singing, Hermione Granger will be performing."

Hermione's heart stopped, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. There had to be some terrible mistake! She couldn't perform! Everyone would run away screaming if they heard her singing! She came back into reality when she felt a thousand hand slap her on the back.

"Congratulations!"

"How did you do it!"

"Where did that come form!"

"I can't believe it!"

It was like everyone in Hogwarts had noticed her for the first time. A girl she had never spoken to, let alone seen was constantly shaking her hand, and Joanna Kingston, who seemed to have taken rejection surprisingly well, was beaming at her. Hermione felt herself being picked up and saw the Great hall, the entrance hall, staircases and halls fly by so quickly she felt like a second ago she was still in the Great hall, yet here she was, in the Gryffindor common room, surrounded by celebrating people. She saw Harry and Ron squeeze past the cheering crowd. Both hugged her so tightly she felt her ribs crack and screamed in pain.

"I told you you would get the part!" Harry yelled over the noise. 

Hermione grinned a Cheshire cat grin. She was starting to like the attention...

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A/N: The longest part so far!!!! I'm so proud of myself!!!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Nothin'...apart from the talent show and the unknown students who I cannot be bothered to list.

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Part IV and V should be up soon.


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